What my weight taught me about money
Last week I flew home from the UK just in time for my daughter's graduation.
I'd spent two and a half weeks helping our son settle into university. Then I was back in Singapore, sitting in a school hall, watching my daughter cross the stage.
At the graduation, we bumped into a teacher who had taught both my kids. My husband and I noticed straight away how well he looked. He'd been making changes to his eating for health reasons over the past year.
We asked him what worked.
His answer was simple. No special diet, no extreme plan. He said it was just a lifestyle.
What he said immediately felt familiar to me.
I've tried everything
I grew up overweight. Through childhood and my teenage years, it shaped how I saw myself. The teasing, the name-calling, the low self-esteem as a result.
So as an adult, I tried every hack out there. Pills, cold-wraps, liquid drops, going fully plant-based, running every single day.
I'd lose the weight. Then it would come back. And I'd start again.
What finally changed things wasn't some secret, magic formula. It came down to understanding the simple math behind weight loss. And deciding what kind of person I wanted to be. Someone who looks after her body as a normal part of life, not as a punishment.
Once I made that decision and understood the practical strategies, the daily choices got easier. I didn't have to force anything. My actions just fit the person I became.
What this has to do with money
I think about how much my relationship with food mirrors my relationship with money.
The maths is almost the same, just reversed.
With weight, if more goes in than you use, you gain. With money, you want more coming in than going out. That's how you build a surplus.
But most of us treat money the way I used to treat food.
We go on a money diet.
We cut back, budget harder, and feel guilty about every coffee. But there's only so much you can cut before life starts to feel small and limited. You deprive yourself so much until you get to a point you lose control, go on a binge and land right back at square one.
Look for the lever that makes a difference
The teacher didn't spend hours in the gym. He found alternatives in what he ate because he decided his health was important. It took less effort but yielded a bigger result.
Money works the same way. Cutting expenses is one lever. But it's rarely the strongest one.
Earning more often is.
After 30 years in HR, I can tell you how pay decisions get made. People aren't paid more for sitting at a desk longer. They're paid more for the problems they solve.
The person who fixes in half a day what others have struggled with for months? That's who gets the raise and gets the next opportunity. Become known as the person who can do what no one else can.
This thinking works beyond your job too. The skills and experience you already have can become income alongside your career. That's how you stop depending on a single salary for you and your family's financial security. Start looking for problems you can solve instead of running away from them.
3 questions to ask yourself this week
- What kind of person do I want to be with money? Not what do I want to have. Who do I want to be?
- Am I trying to fix things by cutting back, when earning more might be the bigger lever?
- What problem do I solve easily that others struggle with? How can I get even better at doing this?
You don't need to answer them perfectly. Just notice what comes up.
I'm still working on this myself. Some old patterns have been showing up for me lately. When that happens, I pause and ask myself, 'what part of the old me is still running the show?'
Then I take one concrete action that's the complete opposite of what my old self would do, and what my new self would instead.
I'm glad that conversation last evening at the graduation reminded me about this.
Does your relationship with food mirror your relationship with money? Reply to this email and let me know.
Sharon
This week on the podcast
This week's podcast episode goes deeper into all of this, including why I think investing alone can feel too slow.
Listen here: